Marriage is a covenant designed by God to reflect His love, faithfulness, and commitment to His people. The Bible upholds marriage as a sacred, lifelong union, and any decision to marry, remain single, divorce, or remarry is one that requires careful thought, prayer, and alignment with biblical principles. While modern society often views marriage as temporary or conditional, Scripture presents it as a binding commitment to reflect God’s unchanging faithfulness.
This discussion explores biblical teachings on marriage, divorce, singleness, and remarriage, grounded in Scripture’s call to holiness. By understanding these perspectives, Christians can honor God’s design for relationships, navigating these matters with integrity and devotion to God.
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The Bible’s Stance on Divorce
Old Testament Teachings on Divorce
The Bible’s first teachings on divorce are found in the Old Testament. From the beginning, marriage is depicted as a covenant where two become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This covenant is meant to be unbreakable. However, because of human sinfulness, the Mosaic Law allowed for divorce as a concession. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Moses permits a husband to issue a certificate of divorce if he finds “something indecent” about his wife. This allowance was not an endorsement of divorce but was introduced to address the hardness of people’s hearts and provide some protection for women from unjust abandonment.
The prophet Malachi conveys God’s perspective on divorce with strong language, stating, “‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel” (Malachi 2:16). This declaration underscores God’s desire for faithfulness within marriage and illustrates how divorce damages the covenant intended to bring unity, peace, and stability. Divorce, in God’s eyes, is a departure from the loving commitment He intended for marriage.
New Testament Teachings on Divorce
In the New Testament, Jesus upholds the sanctity of marriage, confirming that God’s design was for marriage to be a lifelong covenant. When questioned about divorce, Jesus replies, “Haven’t you read…that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:4-6).
In Matthew 19:8, Jesus clarifies that Moses permitted divorce because of human hardness of heart, but this was not God’s ideal. Paul also addresses this in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, instructing believers: “A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” In both instances, the call is to pursue reconciliation rather than divorce, demonstrating God’s desire for lasting unity in marriage.
Finding a Godly Spouse
Before entering marriage, Scripture emphasizes the importance of choosing a spouse who shares one’s faith. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul warns, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Marrying a fellow believer helps ensure spiritual unity and minimizes potential conflicts in values and priorities.
Proverbs 18:22 reminds believers that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord,” suggesting that a godly marriage is a blessing and gift from God. By seeking a spouse who is committed to living a life in Christ, believers create a foundation for a marriage that honors God and fulfills His purposes. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” underscoring that marriage requires sacrificial love. Marrying a godly spouse is essential to fulfilling this high calling.
Permissible Grounds for Divorce
Sexual Immorality (Matthew 5:32)
Jesus provides one clear exception for divorce: sexual immorality. In Matthew 5:32, He says, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery.” This passage clarifies that sexual infidelity is a legitimate reason for divorce because it violates the sacred bond between husband and wife. In cases of adultery, while forgiveness and reconciliation are encouraged, divorce is permitted. This allowance acknowledges the deep pain caused by betrayal while still affirming the possibility of restoration (Ephesians 4:32).
Abandonment by an Unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:12-15)
Paul provides an additional reason for divorce when an unbelieving spouse chooses to abandon the marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul writes, “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.” This exception recognizes that a Christian should not be bound to a marriage if the unbelieving spouse chooses to depart. In these cases, Paul encourages believers to seek peace rather than forcibly retain a relationship where only one partner is committed.
Other Situations (e.g., Abuse)
Although the Bible does not specifically address issues like abuse, principles from Scripture provide guidance. Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s sacrificial love for His Church (Ephesians 5:25), and any form of physical, mental, or emotional abuse undermines that purpose. In cases of abuse, separation may be necessary to ensure safety and well-being. While divorce may not be explicitly prescribed, separation with the goal of safety and seeking godly counsel is often advisable.
The Appeal of Singleness
Paul’s Perspective on Singleness (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Paul advocates for singleness as a viable option for believers, encouraging those who can to remain unmarried for the sake of undivided devotion to God. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, he writes, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife.” For Paul, singleness allows believers to serve God wholeheartedly without the distractions and obligations that marriage entails.
Singleness as a Choice for Undivided Devotion
Paul’s encouragement is not an argument against marriage but a call for believers to consider the value of singleness. Singleness is an honorable choice that allows individuals to focus on ministry, prayer, and serving others. Jesus, too, lived a single life, fully devoted to His Father’s work. This alternative to marriage, though often undervalued, is seen as a noble calling in the Bible, enabling believers to pursue God with an undivided heart.
Remarriage and Its Conditions
Biblical Conditions for Remarriage
Remarriage, according to the Bible, is generally permissible if a spouse has passed away. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, Paul states, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” This passage underscores the importance of spiritual compatibility in marriage. Remarriage after the death of a spouse is viewed as a new beginning, provided that it is within the bounds of faith.
The Consequence of Remarriage After Unlawful Divorce
Jesus warns against remarriage after an unbiblical divorce, stating, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9). This instruction affirms the seriousness of the marriage covenant. If a divorce does not meet the biblical conditions, remarriage is considered adultery, emphasizing the gravity of dissolving a marriage without legitimate cause.
Guidance for Christians Considering Remarriage
Christians considering remarriage should carefully examine their circumstances in light of Scripture. Before remarrying, it is crucial to ensure that biblical conditions for divorce were met and that both individuals are equally committed to honoring God in their union. Remarriage should reflect God’s purpose for marriage, as a lifelong partnership founded on mutual respect, love, and commitment.
Conclusion: A Call to Faithfulness and Holiness
The Bible’s teachings on marriage, divorce, singleness, and remarriage provide guidance for believers in a world where these commitments are often viewed as temporary. Christians are called to honor the sanctity of marriage, whether by remaining faithful in marriage, embracing singleness for the sake of ministry, or carefully considering remarriage under biblically permissible conditions.
In the parable of the prodigal son, we find a picture of God’s grace for those who have strayed, including those who may have experienced broken relationships. Just as the father welcomes his son back with open arms, God extends forgiveness to those who come to Him in repentance. This parable is a reminder that, despite the challenges we may face, God’s design for relationships remains rooted in His faithfulness and love.
As we strive to follow God’s guidance in marriage and singleness, may we heed Jesus’ words: “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:6). Whether single, married, or considering remarriage, let us honor God’s design, trusting that His commands bring both peace and blessing. By upholding these principles, we reflect the holiness and commitment that God desires for all His people.
A Passage to Ponder: 1 Corinthians 7:1-17, 32-35
Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.”
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
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